Another Week, Another Walker, and Zombie Master beating down another episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead, this one is titled: Tell it to the Frogs.

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            {-Show Script-}


Because you made a -Grave Mistake- your face stuck in a -Frozen Scream-. However, you need to know that being splayed opened today is The Walking Dead Season One Episode Three – Tell it to the Frogs


{Scene 01}

Hell is Full, and no you’re not having delusions, Zombie Master is inside your mind and we will be reviewing The Walking Dead Episode: Tell it to the Frogs.

As we come in on Merle on the roof becoming a baked treat for the undead, we see him talking to himself about his past war experiences, shortly coming back to reality… remembering how destroyed his situation is. He does what any semi-sane or sane man for that matter would do in that moment… He LOSES HIS SCAT. Starting by begging to God, Jesus, and all that maybe holy, not putting into perspective that even a god like deity is probably laughing at his situation (like most of  the rest of us) with the kind of person he was. Finally, walkers get to the door, and it would seem that Merle has to be thankful for the chain t-dog put on the door.

Merle starts crying, which for a man like him has to be humiliating… After which he starts using his head as a meat tenderizer, finally changing his mind about calling ta Cheesus, and starts cursing god and anything to do with it. Repeating that he never asked him for anything and never will, as the scene comes to a close we see Merle using his belt to try to get a hacksaw to free himself.

Itchy… TASTY… Creeedits…


{Scene 02}

After the credits roll we get to see Morales feeding Rick a line about how terrible of a person Merle was and that leaving a man like that to become leather on a roof is probably better for everyone. We get a cut away to Shane telling Carl that he will show him how to catch frogs, which probably isn’t a bad skill in the Apocalypse, an Lori shows herself to be a sexist stereotype when Carl looks at her about it and her only response is “Oh, I’m a girl, you talk to him” Isn’t it GREAT to see even in a world RULED by the dead outdated stereotypes will be reinforced.


{Scene 03}

Next we see everyone hearing Glenn coming into survivor central WITH the Alarm on the car STILL BLARING! Let’s see… you took the car so you could draw the walkers AWAY from the door… You kept driving the car… because you thought it was cool. You DID NOT THINK that it might BRING the undead TOOOO your FIGGING camp!?!? Yes, Glenn gets yelled at by Dale and everyone for doing something just a little beyond Merle’s level of stupidity.

After the box truck gets there, and everyone but Rick gets out they talk about the new guy giving Lori and Carl just enough time to get into an oh so dramatic pose while Rick gets out of the truck. Shane being the first to see Rick, he looks more like he is going to have to change his pants than he is happy, and then in their dramatic pose Lori and Carl going as far as having Lori quietly say before seeing Rick “I know sometimes you miss your Dad” then slowly looking over to see SHOCK He’s there how ironic. Carl reacts appropriately, on the other hand Lori looks more angry then happy seeing her husband is alive, then while hugging Rick giving Shane a look that is not beneficial to anyone.

Now we have campfire horror story time, and all they need now is some marshmallows while Rick goes over pretty much what we just saw in the last two episodes while Shane and Lori trade looks in that way they pretty much will the rest of the season when they are on screen and not fighting or acting nice, nice when Rick is around.

You REALLY do have to love the uncomfortability of the group when Rick thanks Shane for taking such good care of his wife. Since they all know Shane was as Caaareing as he cooould beee… Not ONE person CAN BE HONEST with Rick… I am shaking my head at the whole group…

Story time is interrupted so that we can meet Ed, who is written to be so bad that we might actually start liking Merle Dixon. Our next scene is a testosterone contest about who will get to tell Daryl Dixon that they left Merle and that he has probably become zombie chow, when T-Dog tells them it is more likely they he is becoming beef jerky… Everyone looks morally unsettled, which becomes a common theme in the show.

After everyone goes to bed and Rick curls up with Lori, he shows that he is Sherlock Holmes by having a conversation that we really do not need to take up screen time, telling Lori about the photo albums that where talked about in the first episode. Soon after, they commence the act of mating, and Lori reassures Rick that Carl will not wake up. Shouldn’t this have been a “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?!?” moment… but instead Rick just thinks about Mr. Johnson down the street.


{Scene 04}

So, Rick lets Lori know that he is thinking about rescuing Merle, and she in that moment shows that Shane would have been the right man for her, and then we hear Carl scream… everyone running finding a walker having a venison lunch, everyone goes about beating it and kicking it in a wonderful act of stupidity until Dale just chops off its head. Annnnd so enters Daryl Dixon, who quickly shows himself to be smarter than the rest when it comes to killing the risen, making clear you HAVE to go for the BRAAAAINS! (Were there no zombie movies in this universe?!) After which he goes looking for Merle, and is told his brother is now likely rawhide. He has a pretty reasonable reaction.

So, they start talking of going back and getting Merle, and Lori gets pezed, and Shane goes Mr. Squinty. Once again… Shane all Logic… Rick all Compassion… Rick does talk some sense into Shane using logic about the bag of guns left in Atlanta, an Lori turns around and shows how little compassion she really has. I do not say this really because she doesn’t care about Merle, he is pretty worthless after all, but because this is one time I do actually agree with Rick’s compassion. Nothing deserves to die like that…

Rick tells Lori about the walkie talkie that he gave Morgan in the first episode, an how it is in the bag. She looks stone faced and like she could really care less, just that she knows he is not going to let it go so she says what he wants to hear.


{Scene 05}

Now they start trying to talk Dale into letting them borrow his bolt cutters… and isn’t it funny how he is not “showing his humanity” at this point. Showing himself to be more worried about his tools than a man’s life.

Merle is a worthless human being to me, but Dale sure is acting more like the comic book Dale at this point and personally I like it. The scene directly after this shows that Shane really DOES care about Rick, and well… that Rick had a gun on his side just for show, as Rick and the group are leaving for Atlanta, Lori is WAY too honest with a child of Carl’s age. However, Carl shows himself to ALREADY be smarter than Lori… not really hard to do in my opinion…

Soon after that Lori shows herself to be a heartless leach, treating the man who saved her AND her son’s lives like he is lower than dung. She cannot get that Rick is his BEST FRIEND, and Shane did what HE thought Rick would WANT.


{Scene 06}

Afterwards, Ed shows himself to be a waste of a human liiife. Hitting his wife and threatening all the women in the group. Shane proceeds to take out all of his pain and all of his rage on Ed, starting his achingly slow decline into loony toons. Beating Ed DESERVEDLY to a pulp, EVERYONE looks at Shane in the end like HE went too far, but he spared Ed’s life which is more than I would have done… Frankly, you DO NOT raise your hand to a woman except in self defense, if you do and it is not in self defense, your life is forfeit in my eyes. I take back what I said before, a man like Ed deserves to die of exposure handcuffed to a roof. Shane was NICE.

As this is going on foreboding music starts playing in the background an as the music continues we cut to Atlanta an them running back up the staircase and cutting the pad lock, then as we hear Daryl losing his shine, we pan across the group finally seeing that Merle had two GIANT Cannonballs in his pants as the camera continues to pan to a hacksaw, then Merle’s hand which is BEGGING to be high fived annnd finally stopping on the bloody handcuffs dangling in the wind.

I just have to repeat that… the man had the cojones to hacksaw HIS OWN HAND OFF and leave it there. No matter how terrible of a person Merle was that deserves kudos.


{Final Thoughts}

This episode was great, the tensions where just at the right point throughout the episode and though there were a few throw away scenes, overall the writers made use of their time much more wisely than in previous episodes. I really don’t have that much bad to say about it, other than I really do not like Lori, and if people would be more honest a lot of problems would be solved, but that wouldn’t make good television. This is one of my favorite episodes of the first season and probably of the series. I think this is the episode that solidifies a lot of the personalities as well as a lot tensions that run throughout the first two seasons. The little addition that I WILL make though, I wish they had kept Dale as he was in this episode…

Annnnnnnd Fade to Black…


Someone or something is always out to get you, keep your weapon handy, stay focused, do not get bit, and remember Horror NEVER Dies…

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