Today the Zombie Master has risen, and is here to take a bite out of The Walking Dead Season One Episode Days Gone Bye

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Show Script:

{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Intro}

After 28 Days have passed and you return to the Land of the Living realizing hell is full you will piss your pants and seeing you are a Resident in a Dead World and there is nothing left to do but take a bite out of The Walking Dead Season one Episode one Days Gone Bye
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 01}

Hell is Full and that voice inside your head is Zombie Master; I love zombies, and everything that goes with them. (The ones on the big screen and small screen that is, not a big fan of the ones in life). I am going to go over the good, the bad, the silly, and the nonsensical that goes along with them, starting out with the first two seasons of The Walking Dead.

Before I get to the episode, I have to start out with the DVD, Why do they put a commercial for the second season that shows many of the major plot points of the season that you’re ARE ABOUT TO WATCH! Thankfully, I saw all of these when they came out, but because of that I also know that the “watch for season two” commercial gives away almost EVERY single major plot point of almost EVERY episode of season ONE… Now t hat I have that out of the way.

In this episode, we start out in a flash forward, with Deputy Rick Grimes at what should be walker central, an abandoned gas station so surrounded by cars, tents, and other assorted “we made camp here because we had no more gas and thought there was safety in numbers!”. Instead all that we get is “Awww…  how cute a tiny little hand picking up a stuffed teddy bear…” Now… the thing is, I know the whole pull the heart strings card they’re playing here, and it’s a little trite. “Oh my god! it does it to children TOO!” I get it, it was something edgy when Romero did it in the original Dawn of the Dead… now it’s just… yeah… that sucks, but it’s going to happen.

Through the credit sequence we go…

{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 02}

-Exaggerated: annnd… what the hell?! Stereotypical “Man talk?!?”
-deadpan: thought we were getting zombies…
-Exasperated: Oh great… It’s a flashback.

The dribble that’s Shane is spewing will only make a hardcore misogynist proud. Once they are done talking about light switches and women (Seriously! the most interesting conversation you could have them have was about light switches?!) I will give the part about Rick and Lori’s problems was interesting, but in comparison to what Shane had to say, talking about how many bullets they thought they had at the Sheriff’s office would have been more interesting, and at least THAT information would have had some USE in the episode.

They get a call about a police chase and we set up the rest of this season and a good part of the next, and make sure to have a quick scene showing Shane throw their trash away. Remember boys and girls, don’t litter! Interesting television!
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 03}

So, after a few more minutes of them doing “cop things” like setting up spike strips, and talking about being on television… really… Is this Jersey Shore the Sheriff’s office? After Rick gives Leon and Shane the look of “I am surrounded by idiots” even having to remind Leon how to correctly use his gun.

Heeeeere comes the bad guy, in what else a classic muscle car! Why is it that most of the time when there is a car crash with bad guys they all can somehow afford classic muscle cars. Seriously! Even in bad condition, those things are expensive these days, and the ones that are destroyed in television are RARELY in bad condition! Yeah… Maybe they stole it, but I guess they’re around EVERYWHERE the way the bad guys are always stealing them all the time! ANYWAY… So, the Danny Trejo wannabe shoots Rick, gets shot let’s just say… A LOT… then they decide it is best to talk about how close Rick was to getting killed rather than having one of the EIGHT… YES, EIGHT officers between Rick and his three men and the four that get out of the two cars that were chasing the armed men, check to see if MAYYYBE Juuust MAYBE there might be some other armed people in the crashed car after two have already gotten out and shot at them. Weeeellll in an act of really convenient stupidity Rick gets shot for real this time.

Now, one of the most convenient plot holes of the whole coma thing is how does he really survive no food, no water, nothing, for who knows how long? So, this is the get out of coma free diet? If that REALLY worked, wouldn’t we be pulling the plug on coma patients ALL the TIME! Now Rick wakes up barely able to stand, but soon is about to walk down a stairwell, and I will give the writers they didn’t take the easy jump scare that they could have in the stairwell which would have been too cliché, after he opens the door and walks into the light or should I say the mass grave and all that goes through my head is: (Play clip that says “A Whole New World, a Fantastic Point of View” of the song Whole New World from Aladdin).
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 04}

After that he makes it too his house and gets a shovel to the face. We meet Morgan and his son Dwayne, who are here pretty much just to tell you everything that all the time they used in the hospital, in the car talking about light switches, annnd a good bit of everything else so far, could have been used to SHOOOOW Rick learning this through experience, not just getting told or ANOTHER wayyy of putting IT “Hello, My name is Morgan, I will be your exposition for the evening”. Good writing shows it does not tell, Morgan takes what seems like forever to tell him about everything that’s happened. Finally, Morgan is interrupted when his wife comes over for a social call. She shows a LOT of Dawn of the Dead an Land of the Dead tendencies, which is pretty cool. Remembering the house they were at, remembering how to open a door, seeming to have an idea of what a peep hole is… but we do not see that again… in the series… not as of yet that I can remember, but I could be wrong. Soon after we get a realistic conversation about taking photo albums, and all I can think is, yeah take maybe a few pictures, but even taking the framed pictures off the walls, what a great way to weigh yourself down and get yourself killed, mayyybe realistic but from a survival stand point, stupid. In that moment I can just see, “We are in a HURRY!” “WAIT! Wait! I have to take the pictures off the walls!” Yeeaaah… We can already see that Lori is likely to have the survival skills of a snail on a summer sidewalk.

Shortly thereafter they are entering the Sheriff’s office, what is the first thing the flash light shines on… coffee and doughnuts. BAD Writers! Terrible cliché… funny in that yeah…  you had to go there kind of way, but still bad writing.

So, they have some fun in the police station showering and gathering supplies then Morgan thanks Rick for being such a great guy, when if he REALLY was a great guy he would have encouraged them to take the other police car and stay IN the police station, it seems it would be A LOT safer there than in a boarded up house. Since they were able to just joke around and take showers in the station and it even has hot running water. Yeah Rick, you are such a wonderful guy! Thanks for the guns, but you know a safe place to sleep would have been REALLY nice! As they are walking away we find that Leon made it onto America’s funniest walkers which is no surprise and with that Rick puts him down and drives off in his police car, and you REALLY have to wonder why he did not go back to the hospital and grab one of the SIX military hummers that were sitting outside with what looked to be a number of barrels of gas AND military weapons just lying around. But, when you are trying to survive the apocalypse logic seems to be the least of your worries most of the time if we believe what we see in movies and television.

We get one more scene with Morgan, this time trying to shoot his wife, now maybe I am cold hearted, but her coming up as an undead thing that can kill you is repeatedly traumatizing your son, it is time to kill her, Just Kill her already! Stop her from hurting your son! Don’t you think that is what she would want you to do?! During the same time, Rick thanks a girl for her bike.
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 05}

Now, for the first time we see the survivor camp and after the quick radio scene where of course NO ONE who would recognize Rick’s voice is anywhere near the radio. We see Shane kissing some unknown to us at this point, when two seconds later we find out it is… Dun Dunn Dunnn… its Rick’s wife Lori when he pulls out the picture from the visor of the car. Set up clarified. Hey! Wait! Weren’t Lori and Carl sitting right behind the girl on the CB?!?! Either way, I guess Shane doesn’t have to worry about women turning off the lights anymore.
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Scene 06}

Skipping ahead Rick finds a horse that will soon wish it had kept its mouth shut, soon after comes one of the iconic scenes of the first season. Rick in full Deputy’s uniform, clopping down the empty side of a highway while the other side is a traffic jam of dead cars. The scene was everywhere in most of the promo material for season one. All I can think, is with all the noise that horse’s hooves are making why aren’t the walkers in those cars making the horse AND rider the main course of the day? But… no… we get Rick riding through the abandoned streets of Atlanta like a major city looking abandoned is nothing out of the ordinary, especially when everyone was supposed to have been evacuated there, nothing wrong here.

At this point, the horse starts getting freaked out and wants to go, this is a case of… smart horse and stupid rider. I was rooting for the horse to throw him and take off running, of course that is not what happens, they take a turn at the corner of walker street and zombie lane and lo and behold… it is full of the undead. Turning they get surrounded and it should have been Rick! not the horse…

Rick makes it into a tank, and I have heard a lot of people complain about the tank walker. There IS an explanation, in the comics, but as of yet they have not explained it in the series, it should likely be coming up in season three. Soooo, Rick fires his gun in the tank and yet moments later can hear static on the radio and a voice. Rick would have probably blown at LEAST one of his ear drum with that shot, he might have heard someone screaming over the radio with his other ear… MIGHT have. But it is EXTREMELY unlikely he would have heard someone just laughing an mocking him.

And the episode ends with us panning out, seeing how bad of a situation Rick has put himself in and the horde of walkers devouring the horse. The horse is the saddest thing about the entire episode too me.

This episode wasn’t bad but also wasn’t great looking back on it. The characters are bland, with no depth. Many of the scenes are played out way longer than they need to be, an Rick just comes off as an idiot more than anything else. I understand when he first woke up from a coma being disoriented. But even as time progresses it’s a bunch of clichés about the differences between men and woman, stereotypical cop stuff, and Rick just making terrible decisions. Fun yes, but beyond that not a lot else.

Annd Fade to Black
{HIF: TWD S01E01 – Outro}

Remember, that voice was Zombie Master hosting Hell Is Full an it is a Brain Dead world out there, keep in touch, be prepared, and do not get bit.


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