Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies – A Zombie Podcast | Episode Twenty Three ~ Text Review / Script

by Zombie Master

{Intro}

 

There are spoilers when you go to see the -Zombies on Broadway- and you may end up relaxing in the -Oasis of the Zombies- when you get -The Chilling- reminder of your situation when you hear Zombie Master review Fido.

 

{Scene One}

 

Hell is Full, and Zombie Master is here to destroy conformity and review the 2006 film Fido. Opening up we are greeted with a 50’s style black and white propaganda film, all about how great the world is now that ZomCom has completely taken over by making safe zones. We also learn that in this universe, it’s radiation that causes the zombies, then we go about learning of funerals, and head coffins, and better living through containment… It is more than a little bit creepy, and you’re left having to wonder who are the ones contained. The zombies or the humans…

After having finished with the propaganda film, we enter into a classroom. This also has a very fifties/cold war feel to it, then we meet Mr. Bottoms the new head of ZomCom security. We also meet one of our main characters, Timmy Robinson who asks a question that Bottoms can’t answer… All Mr. Bottoms does is look at him, and look uncomfortable. With that, the teacher decides it’s time for outdoor education.

We see quickly that outdoor education is rifle practice, and in the world that they live in its not a bad idea though Timmy cannot shoot worth a shit. We then meet the bullies Ray and Stan, who are about as stereotypical as you can make kid bullies…

Moving forward, we go through town seeing all the things that they have the now “docile” zombies do annnd finally we get the taste of credits for this movie, continuing to get introduced to the town of Willard. Seeing pretty much all of our main and side characters and just going through town, this runs through my head {Play Clip – Mr. Rogers – Neighborhood.}

{Shout Out – http://www.bmoviefilmvault.com/}

 

{Scene Two}

 

After all that, we get into the Robinson home, following Timmy in we see his mother scold him for getting his new shirt dirty, then flip flop and just tell him to clean up when she learns it was because of the bullies. We jump ahead a little bit and we see Mr. Robinson get home, and his wife is dressed to the nines, and this is all I can think is {Play Clip – Whoa from the Matrix}. She is VERY obviously manipulating him. Then we learn that she bought a zombie, and Mr. Robinson is terrified of zombies (which does not seem like an all that unusual thing to me.)

We learn that they have gotten a funeral savings plan for Timmy in part because the other kids hate him, and we also learn that the Joneses moved out of the house across the street that Mr. Bottoms & Family now live in. Yet we see all too well that they are still trying to keep up with the Joneses… Now this is stuck in my head {Play Clip – Aqua – Doctor Jones} except I am getting this image of Doctor Jones being a zombie. *laughs*

 

{Scene Three}

 

Jumping a head a little we get the classic, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up” commercial now with a zombie twist. After which Timmy’s father chooses the golf range over helping his son. So, Timmy starts befriending their new zombie since he has no one else… I kind of understand this better than I probably should.

After walking around for a bit, he runs into the bullies who do what bullies do and try to hurt him. However, Timmy’s zombie breaks Ray’s arm and they run off.

After which Timmy names him Fido, then he goes about playing catch with Fido, which does not go well. So, he decides fetch would be a better game saying “Go Get it Boy!” (They should have just called the damn zombie Lassie… it really is that obvious). When Fido tries to get the ball an old woman attacks him, but ends up getting what she deserves when she inadvertently causes the collar light to turn red and this barrels through my head {Play Clip – Dinner is prepared from RHPS} with that… Fido eats Granny. Fido goes back, almost eating Timmy, but the collar turns back on and Timmy is more upset that he might get in trouble than that someone died…

{Shout Out – http://couchcutter.com/}

 

{Scene Four}

 

After getting home, Timmy goes about hosing Fido down and learns that he died from a heart attack, when his mother comes in and scolds him for even being in the garage. Going to the dinner scene, we see even more how much of a doubebag Mr. Robinson kinda is, pretty much making it clear he ignores his son and thinks people are stupid or perverts… Hmmm… sounds pretty normal, even these days for some areas, quite sad really, anyway… moving on.

A few scenes later we learn that the only zombie kill Mr. Robinson ever got was his own father. HHHmmm… Sounds Fuuuun to ME! Dooo… dadooo… dadoo… Hm.. Hmmm… Hmm. Going forward, we learn that all the old prisons are now old folks homes. I know they make it sound harsh, and maybe it is. However, when you are dealing with zombies it frankly makes sense. There is a point when you just have to consider public safety. We also learn that they throw people into what they call “the wild zone” if they break any rules. From the looks of this place, I think I would rather live in a zombie infested world, than in a fifties suburban hell. Eeeeeeehhheeeeekkkkk…

 

{Scene Five}

 

Skipping ahead a little we see Mrs. Henderson (the old woman Fido killed earlier) eat a man, and then Timmy kill the Mrs. Henderson zombie with a shovel, after which he buries her in the park flowerbed and this runs through my head {Play Clip – Me First – San Francisco} Shortly after, Fido get spooked by lightening… fun as it may be, the whole dog to zombie comparison does wear a little thin at some points. Timmy comes outside to check on him, and almost gets eaten by him again. Going over to Mr. Theopolis’s house he shows that he has been bit by his zombie girlfriend Tammy. Twisted… yeah… but he is able to fix Fido’s collar and also we learn the even more important thing, a bite in this universe does not mean you become a zombie. Only death makes you a zombie. That is kind of rare in this type of movie, I like it.

Going forward, we see that the Robinson’s Sunday drives are to other people’s funerals, let me make it clear… people they do not know. Mr. Robinson is the only one who really wants to go, with an obsession with head caskets and the works. Then later on, Timmy gets philosophical about zombies, his father does not like it at all and we see Mr. Henderson get taken away for giving Mrs. Henderson an illegal funeral (when we know it was actually Timmy).

A little while later we get Timmy and Fido playing together, and it would seem the hills are alive with the sound of zombies… with that they end up meeting up with the bullies again and Roy ends up shooting through Fido and killing his brother Stan, then Fido eats Roy. Timmy realizes that Fido is not going to eat him even though his collar stopped working and he sends Fido to go get his mother… in classic “Timmy fell down the well” Lassie fashion she understands everything Fido is saying. He gets her, she gets there, annnnnnnd burns all the evidence, including the two bullies.

{Shout Out – https://www.facebook.com/TheHorrorHour}

 

{Scene Six}

 

Pushing forward, they find Mrs. Henderson’s grave and find the baseball labeled Timmy R. (Dunnn dun duuuuunnnnnnn). Jumping back to the Robinson’s ZomCom takes Fido, but no little boy and his dog will be split up… wait… I mean boy an… an.. and his zombie will be parted! Yeah… Yeah! That’s it! So, just as quickly, Timmy ends up working it out with Mr. Theopolis who used to work at the factory to get Timmy in. Timmy quickly finds Fido, however just as quickly gets caught by Mr. Bottoms. Fido of course… fights against and breaks his chains, then we see Mr. Robinson charge in with a shotgun. Back at the gate Conrad, I mean Mr. Bottoms throws Timmy into the wild zone, Timmy almost gets eaten by the wild zombies but he barely escapes of course. Mr. Robinson gets shot and Mr. Bottoms gets torn into by Fido. As it winds down, we see Timmy’s father is laid to rest with head coffin and all, and Timmy and his mother seem much happier now.

As for the ending, we get a classic 50s neighborhood backyard BBQ scene, with zombies and all lounging and drinking and well, all that goes through my head is {Play clip – Lemonheads – Mrs. Robinson}

 

{Final Thoughts}

 

As for my final thoughts, this movie is great even if I do have this still stuck in my head {Play Clip – Counting Crows – Mr. Jones} This movie is great. I would not go as far as to call it awesome, because it does borrow so heavily from the whole Lassie “a boy and his dog” scenario. Which even though this is a new take on it with the whole boy and his zombie thing, even doing a new take on the “a boy and his (fill in the blank)” has been so overdone. I will say this is a funny movie that is definitely worth owning. If you want a good cheesy zombie comedy or ZomCom… yes… just like the company in the movie, then BUY THIS… if you are only interested in the more serious zombie fare then this would definitely not be for you.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd… Fade to Black!

 

{Outro}

 

Always be nice to your zombie, Never piss off someone else’s zombie, Know the dangers of old people in the zombie apocalypse, and remember Horror NEVER Dies…

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