Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies – A Zombie Podcast | Episode Twenty Nine ~ Text Review / Script

by Zombie Master

{Intro}

 

When the -Cannibalistic Human Underground Dwellers- meet the -OC Babes and the Slasher of Zombietown- spoilers will explode while Zombie Master reviews Black Sheep from 2006.

 

{Scene One}

 

Hell is Full, and Zombie Master is here to give you a good night’s sleep as he recounts Black Sheep. Now for the best month of the year, October. I will be reviewing my top four favorite zombie films starting out with today’s splattering of zombie goodness another movie from New Zealand. We open up on majestic hills and farmland seeing a number of boys on four wheelers herding sheep. We see a boy with a leg brace in the distance walk off looking annoyed before we get a well done title card for this movie.

After the quick title card we are back with the boy in the leg brace, killing a sheep that when we see one of the other boys comes up we can tell was obviously his pet. The boy goes searching for his pet sheep, and when he enters the barn it falls skinned from the ceiling, and his sicko psychopathic brother jumps out of the shadows in the sheep’s skin covered in the still warm blood until an older woman comes and tells them to stop because their father has died in an accident. Oh the timing! Oh the irony!

(Shout Out – http://www.UnderYourBed.org/)

 

{Scene Two}

 

We do a cut to fifteen years later, and come in on obviously the same kid just fifteen years older in a cab surrounded by sheep having a panic attack, calling his therapist. After the flock disperses they get on their way and we pass by a beat up station wagon that has a “meat is murder” bumper sticker and we meet two environmentalist. Grant and Experience, yes… her name is Experience, which personally I think is awesome. Grant has what has to be the worst hairdo in the totality of zombie films ever made. After a few moments we are back with the guy in the cab pulling up to the house and we see he has an almost five hundred dollar cab fare and has the cab wait (I wish I had that kind of money).

Walking through the house he ends up in an office, and shortly has a double barrel shotgun pressed to the back of his head. We finally learn his name is Henry and the older woman who seems like she was a surrogate mother to him is Mrs. Mac (the best character in the movie). Jumping ahead, we see Henry and his brother Angus (the sadistic little brat from earlier), make a deal about the farm, Angus of course gets condescending about Henry’s phobia of sheep which he certainly caused. I will give though when Angus baaaas at him, it is funny. Going back with the environmentalist, we see Grant pull a move that is well… STUPID. He steals a vial that the researchers were disposing of… Now… if you have ever watched ANY zombie movies, ANY outbreak movies, or even ANY horror movies in general we know that stealing vials of ANYthing is likely going to be the catalyst for the trouble we are about to watch ensue.

The short version, they chase him, he runs, Experience runs. Grant drops said container and it breaks and he gets his ear bitten off by what seems to be a moving sheep embryo. All that goes through my head is (Play Clip: Monty Python Quote – ” I soiled my armor, I was so scared.”)

 

{Scene Three}

 

Skipping ahead a couple of scenes, we end up back watching the zombie ewe crawl away as Grant lays in the fetal position. The embryo thing ending up near the flock and the little bugger ends up baaaing till one of the other sheep comes up and it bites its snout.

We go back to Henry who is now driving up to where his father died for the first time since it happened, with the third kid from the flashback Tucker who is now the farm manager. They almost drive over a sheep just standing in the road. After they get out to move it, they meet Experience who takes their gun and tries to hold them up but fails miserably at it. Tucker pretty much has to walk her through all the steps of holding them up.

Zombie Master wants to stop and give you all a tip for when the undead come to town. There is this thing called the safety on a gun, which most of you probably know of. It keeps people from shooting themselves. Make sure this is off, when you go to shoot the undead or you very well may become one. I will leave a link in the show notes at HellisFull.net/episode29 on where to find the safety on a gun.

Moving on… we see Grant in the woods not looking well, he eat a live rabbit raw and this goes through my head. (Play clip – Monty Python “It is the rabbit”)

Pushing forward we see a random guy making beans hear a baaa at his door then we hear screams. Shortly thereafter our three friends see smoke and as they going in to check it out this pops into my head (Play Clip ~ Jefferson’s Theme “Beans Don’t Burn on the Grill”) after Henry puts out the beans, they notice that the place is covered in blood. After which they are confronted by a flesh hungry sheep… (YES. I just said a flesh hungry sheep.) and we get one of the best lines of the movie after they lock themselves in a room, with Henry saying he has an irrational phobia that this is going to happen. My thought is this, *public service announcement style voice* remember boys and girls, just because people call you paranoid does not mean that everyone is not out to get you! *end PSA Voice*

 

{Scene Four}

 

Going outside for some fresh air, Experience sees that the sheep have surrounded them. When Tucker goes for the truck, Experience goes all new age to help Henry remain calm and well… Henry becomes a tree, he centers himself or something like and they get out of there. However Tucker has a visitor in the cab of the truck having to punch and kick the sheep that is going for his neck. It bites his boot, and he finally gets away from it before they have to jump from the moving truck with the dog that just seemed to appear out of nowhere and as ewe’d guess the sheep drives off the cliff baaing one last time in what has to be sheep for Ooooohhhh Shiiiiiiiiii… Also it happens to be the same cliff Henry’s father died falling off of. Experience not surprisingly puts her foot in her mouth we then cut to the cab and see Henry’s fare is now over one thousand dollars.

Trotting on over to Angus we see him meet Grant who’s looking rather zombie like however still talking all human like… Which confuses me, he then bites Angus’s hand and we all cheer! Because… Angus is a douche. Though I do wish he would have taken off his whole hand. Going on, we see our three friends getting chased by a flock of sheep with EPIC chase music in the background. Just awesome. They end up at the lab and find a sheep skinned, cut stem to stern yet still alive and heart still pumping.

Going through it quickly they drug Tucker who has been bit, Angus holds Experience and Henry at gun point they run get chased by sheep with comical chase music and then Angus lets his brother fall down a hole into a pit of sheep guts and embryos taking Experience down with him.

 

{Scene Five}

 

Moving Forward we see Angus come into the lab and the scientist lady covers up that she found Trevor’s foot where he got bit is now a hoof, we cut to a couple of Angus’s men getting eaten by the zombie sheep and she makes fun of Angus for his proclivities when it comes to sheep. We go back with Henry and Experience trying to get out of the gut palace and when we hear a baaa Henry screams like a little girl. We learn Experience is claustrophobic, Henry helps her become a tree then they run from another zombified sheep. After they get away from it they make it clear they wool not tolerate this by setting it on fire.

Going back to Angus he scares himself by being a baaaaad boy in the study baaing at himself. Again back with Experience and Henry they are facing Grant who now is a zombie weresheep. Experience scolds him for having eaten meat distracting him momentarily, and they run. YaY! More Running!

Now again with Tucker we see him change, and I have to say that they have some really impressive effects that make the change look exceedingly painful. They give him an antidote and it looks even more painful to change back. We learn that scientist lady is insane as she talks of changing him back and forth then her assistant runs, she goes to take Angus some of the antidote and finds her assistant has become sheep chow. She runs, and as one would expect gets taken out with a classic camera angle.

(Shout Out – http://www.DeadFilm.net/)

 

{Scene Six}

 

We come back in on Henry and Experience seeing the entire heard coming over the crest of a hill directly at the smorgasbord of investors and carnage ensues like a lamb to the slaughter. I have to say the gore effects in this scene are phenomenal you could watch this movie for this scene alone. We also see Henry’s cab driver reading from the Bible and giving himself as a sacrifice to the sheep. Henry must be thankful for not having to pay that fare and he gets to keep the cab to boot. Mrs. Mac shows up and picks up Henry and Experience as it is time for dinner then realizes what’s going on and we briefly see Angus take his special ewe with him to his office.

After they all get to the house, zombie weresheep Grant comes in one more time but Experience puts him down with an acupressure point. Then the entire flock surrounds the house. Going upstairs to Angus in the study… because… of the blatant innuendo… sadly… all that I can think is this (Play Clip – “Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep”) or to put it another way… Angus. In the Study. With the Sheep. You’ve Won CLUE! Henry busts in to Angus’s surprise that Henry’s still alive, Angus decides to stay with his partner Betsy the sheep and Henry says good bye to him. We see the sheep tear apart the study yet leave Angus alone as he’s one of the infected.

Back with Henry he has been bit, and he makes it clear he is not a tree he is a sheep… Once everyone decides not to run, we get a wonderful scene of Mrs. Mac driving over sheep and zombie weresheep alike laughing her head off as Experience blasts them with the shotgun. In the final showdown Angus has become a zombie weresheep… HOWEVER, Henry is able pull an Indiana Jones and gets him to stand in front of the moving plane getting taken out by the propeller. Just then Tucker arrives and shoots Angus and Henry up with the antidote, Angus regains his composure but is pretty torn to pieces and he decides to give himself to the flock. They go about let’s just say, eating his manhood first and in one last moment of my mind taking control… this goes though my skull… (Play Clip – “Dirty Deeds Little Bo Peep”). They finally have the flock wrangled and in one of the silliest Zippo explosion scenes EVER put to film, Henry throws the lit Zippo and blows up the entire flock by lighting one of their farts on fire, and we cut to black.

When we come back in they are curing all the investors it would seem, and go about curing the last one which turns out to be Grant who just babbles to himself. Like I think any person would after having been turned into a zombie weresheep. We end panning up a hill seeing the dog and then it baaas.

 

{Final Thoughts}

 

When it comes to the final thoughts, as I said in the beginning for October your Zombie Master will be reviewing his top four favorite zombie movies. I will admit in some ways, Black Sheep does stretch the term zombie to the limit being closer to a creature feature than a tried and true zombie film. HOWEVER, I still see it as a zombie film, and one of the best zombie comedies ever made. The effects from beginning to end are superb, the acting is amazing, the story is surprisingly engrossing even if ridiculous, and the movie gives you what you would think you would be getting from a zombie film called Black Sheep. If I was trying to find something negative to say about it, which I find exceedingly hard to do it would be that I wish the scientists would have had a little more time so we could have seen more of their twisted laboratory. Otherwise this movie IS awesome, annnnd I say find it, watch it, enjoy it. It is Zombie Master’s number four favorite zombie movie.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd… Fade to Black!

 

{Outro}

 

Always know what ewe are doing, Never tell them to leave the meter running, Know when it is just sheer madness, and Remember Horror Never Dies!

Find more episodes of Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies on iTunes and Leave a review, or check out more at HellisFull.net

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