Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies – A Zombie Podcast | Episode Four ~ Script

by Zombie Master

Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies – Season One Ep 04 Show Script

{Intro}

Coming to visit a -Deadly Friend-, you realize that you need to write to your -Zombie Dearest- and let them know -The Earth Dies Screaming- as Zombie Master reviews The Walking Dead: Season One Episode Four – Vatos

 

{Scene One}

Hell is Full and behind every corpse is Zombie Master, an today I’ll be Reviewing The Walking Dead Episode: Vatos

We open up on Amy and Andrea (01) out on a boat fishing and talking about their father. I know that this scene is supposed to give me warm fuzzy feelings. However, all I can think throughout the entire scene is, Well… at least Amy has a real skill to provide something for the group. We pan up to Dale being a creepy old man with binoculars then he moves his attention from the young girls to the World Wrestling Entertainment legend the UNDERTAKER, or in the zombie apocalypse known simply as Jim freaking people out and digging graves.

Credits! Sur-vi-ior Roll Call! Daryl, LORI, Rick Grimes, Shaaaaaane!

After finishing our weekly dose of credits, we come back to Atlanta (01) where we left off. Daryl Dixon having an appropriate reaction to finding that your family member cut off his own hand to survive, and in turn he wants to show his appreciation to T-Dog. However… Rick makes it clear that it would not be a good idea by telling Daryl that he will be dead or something to that effect. After a momentary standoff, Daryl proceeds to pick up the loose meat handwich that Merle left behind.

After Daryl makes use of Glenn’s handy backpack while Glenn looks uncomfortable, Daryl goes about tracking Merle… who is likely the one who taught him how to do it in the first place while T-Dog collects up Dale’s tools.

Switching back to the survivor encampment (02) we see Dale trying to reason with the man digging graves for no reason. We COULD say that is not wise… but, I would say I would be A LOT more concerned with WHY he is digging those graves (or as they call them throughout the entire episode holes… yeah… your audience is THAT dense…) than I would be caring whether he got heat exhaustion or not… at least Dale DOES have the sense not to fight with the crazy man.

 

{Scene Two}

Flipping back to Atlanta (02) it shows how “WOW!” Merle really is, having took out two… of the undead, after cutting off his own hand and still bleeding from the stump with only his belt as a tourniquet as well as one of the best lines of any show I’ve ever seen “feed him a hammer an he’d crap out nails”.

However, just as quickly we are jumping back to survivor central (03), we see that Amy and Andrea are not the female stereotype that Lori is when they return to camp having caught enough fish to feed everyone. However, everyone cannot be happy for too long, as Dale walks up to tell them about the Grim reaper in the field. Which makes everyone get worried faced, an we are not going to have to deal with that for long as once again we bounce back to Atlanta (03) and the search for the one hand bandit.

We find that Merle CAUTERIZED his own WOUND with a stove and a METAL IRON…He is all those things I have said before… Racist, Sexist and not worth all that much as human being… but he also has some admirable qualities, like his FIGGING Survival Instinct… WOW… Personally, I see it as more than a little unrealistic but I keep repeating ta myself suspension of disbelief… suspension of disbelief.

 

{Scene Three}

Going once again back to their little shantytown in the mountains (04), we see everyone talking to Jim about his grave thoughts, an then Jim loses it and Shane has to handcuff him. Jim goes about telling the story about how he survived, and all there is to say is OUCH… even with my cold black heart… OUCH… and I’ll leave it at that.

And AGAIN the Channel is turned back to the Atlanta side of the story (04). Switching can be a good plot device SOMETIMES, when it’s done RIGHT and NOT over used… HOWEVER… in the first FIFTEEN minutes of the show technically including coming back to Atlanta this time, makes the EIGHTH time it’s switched, It is getting distracting and RIDICULOUS…

Soooo… BACK to the episode… Now they are talking about getting the bag of guns off the street… an Glenn as per usual is wanting to play itsy bitsy zombie with his life. Glenn goes over a plan worthy of a Zombie Annihilation Patrol leader, an we are given a good laugh and reminded that there are skills hidden in all of us if we are just given the chance to use them.

Going on the street we see everyone acting all “G.I. Joe” even having the “Action Music” in the back ground and Daryl gives Glenn a back handed compliment before Glenn runs out to play his favorite game Dodge Zombie. Oh! Look! State Farm! I should use them for insurance, YAY for product placement! Glenn pulls an Indiana Jones going back real quick for Rick’s hat… then Daryl and Glenn get ambushed by a bunch of gangbangers… who Kidnap Glenn but leave one of their men and the bag of guns behind. So… it would seem that they pretty much fail at being bad guys. As Rick grabs the bag of guns, he also sees that Glenn grabbed his hat, finally completing his ensemble. BUT! It is not HIS hat. In the first episode his hat was black with a HUGE Star on it… Now, the hat is brown with a smaller star… hhhhmmm.. Undead hat thieves on the loose!

 

{Scene Four}

Switching back AGAIN (05) to the monster truck rally, or should I say the Grave digger situation, we see Shane flexing his cop muscles trying to calm Jim down while pretty much all the important people in the camp stand there looking concerned, buuut you cannot really  be sure if they are concerned for Jim or because of him. After the tribal council in our brief stay at survivor world we get Jim giving Lori advice to never let Carl out of her site which she will never listen too. Flashing back again to Atlanta (05) we get an interrogation scene with a dip nugget who tries hard to be Mr. Strong & Mighty but comes off as a high school kid who is getting grilled by the gym coach for being in the girl’s locker room. Daryl and Rick play Good Redneck/Bad Redneck annn the kid squeals like a pig. After which we get a classic “standoff” scene between the Atlanta party and the Gang… which I have admit is done really well.

So, after their pleasant conversation with the street gang that shows us, even when the world ends people will be making use of duct tape. We see that it would seem that Daryl and T-Dog are starting to get swayed to the “Rick” side.

 

{Scene Five}

We move onto them going back to the street gang’s headquarters, annnd after a moment of tension Grandma Gangster interrupts their serious standoff to lighten the mood, she leads Rick to Glenn through what looks to be a hospital, probably not somewhere Rick likes being. Annnnd we get the funniest moment of the episode when Rick meets “the hounds of hell”. Finding that the dogs he had been threatened with moments before could be punted across a room. Soon we find out that Mr. Big an Bad leader of the Vatos is actually the janitor of the old folks home that they’re standing in. Maybe I have a piece of ice where my heart should be… or maybe I’m already infected but I would have abandoned the old ones too… in a dead world, only those who can run can really survive. Otherwise they’ll just be your downfall in the end.

We find gang members are no smarter in a dead world, BUT… Oh MY! Rick just became the leader of the survivor camp, without most of them ever meeting the man that made the speech that explains that he is. But OOOOOH we know! We get the truth that Rick really came back for just his hat, and Daryl who I agree with says exactly the truth… that Rick did something compassionate… yet stupid… as usual.

As they are walking back to the truck they come up to find that the Box truck is gone… and who did it… Merle FIGGING Dixon… He maybe pretty worthless but he’s one TOUGH S.O.B… Daryl makes note that Merle will be taking vengeance on the camp, as any reasonable man who was left on a roof to die and had to cut off his own hand to survive would… I think.

annnnd again we go back to their little Hooverville… (06) at least this time, it ACTUALLY make sense to go BACK!

We see all of them doing “people stuff”, and then Shane going back to Jim asking him to come to their little fish fry, Carol goes and talks to Ed, and we see the pretty colors Shane made Ed’s face turn… It annoys me that, that dingle berry Ed uses close to one of my OWN favorite expressions… as I would say it… I wouldn’t piss on him to put him out. But, there is only one man I feel that way about. May he rot in… Anyway…

We get a quick jump to the Atlanta party running back to camp, and as cliché as it might be all I can think is Run Forest RUN! So, after seeing Rick and the “boys” Running back, we see everyone giving Dale a hard time about winding his watch and keeping a small part of the old world. I also find it interesting, how there are a number of people including Miguel’s family, that seem to not have been invited to their fish fry… unless some people just evaporate until needed in this world. Also! I have to point out where did Andrea get a BEER?!?! I mean, yeah, some people might make a home brew or two… but I don’t think that would be high on Glenn’s list of things to risk his Sassafras for… Dale gets philosophical for a moment, and gets made fun of for being read and smart… seems nothing really changes even when the world comes to an end… then they make a huge scene about Amy needing to go to the bathroom.

 

{Scene Six}

Annnnnd all I can say about Ed meeting some new friends is a direct quote from a good friend of mine when he was drunk watching the super bowl… EAT HIS FACE! EAT HIS FACE! EAT HIS FACE!

Now that the survivor settlement is being raped by Merles wrath, and Ed’s become Kibbles and Bits we see Amy the cutest cuddliest member of the group pay an arm and a neck for her innocence… This is the point where Carl should have had a dang gun and saved Lori… but we see her latch onto Shane like the leach that she is… after the crud that she said in the last episode… he should let her die, but NO… WHO is she huddled against… WHO is protecting HER and WHAT is SHE saying… “Shane what do we do?” Yeah… you know which side your zombies are splattered on… Andrea has an appropriate reaction to her sister become zomburger, and we get to see all the extras dying who we never met, but who does not love a good selection of raw foods!

Finally Rick and the boys are back in town and something pretty cool is this is one of the ONLY times we EVER see Daryl use a gun… and even though I am strait that gives me a bit of a woody…

One thing you REALLY have to ask yourself is… HOW did Merle round up ALL of those zombies… Consider for a moment, here is a man who hack sawed through his own flesh and bone to get out of a pair of handcuffs, then he went and killed two walkers while still bleeding only having his belt as a tourniquet… after he found a stove and cauterized his own stump with the stove and a piece of metal… he broke a window, jumped out of it then proceeded to make his way through the HEAVILY zombie infested streets of a major city, which had obviously taken him a bit since he only made it to the edge of the city after the box truck was back for him to take… somehow during this, he rounded up all the zombies that we see at the camp, which is a METRIC FUNK TON, into the back of the truck presumably all without getting bit… either when he rounded them up or set them loose. I gotta believe he’s the Racist SUPERMAN or SOME’EM!

We see Rick get back to camp and Lori and Carl act like HE was the one that saved them while Shane looks on understandably hurt

We get a GREAT scene with Amy dying and Andrea dealing with it, showing that Lorie Holden and Emma Bell are AMAZING actresses. As we close this episode out we find out that Jim is Psychic… ooooo creepy…

 

{Final Thoughts}

This episode is all over the place, it could have been a good episode… but… the first half of it bounces back an forth so much… that it not only becomes distracting, it becomes downright annoying. The second half of the episode is actually really good. The stuff with the Vatos in the second half really has some good moments and we see that Shane really is a good person getting treated badly even if he has coldness to him.

We once again see Rick being more compassionate than he should be… this episode is only mediocre at best because the first part of the episode is too much of a trampoline. I think the best part of it is that Ed gets what he really deserves. In the end the episode just does not have a lot of power in the scheme of things.

Some bigger characters die, but we’re left with a feeling that is all the episode was really written for… not any of the stuff that the vast majority the episode was supposed to be about, it’s not my favorite episode by far, but not the worst of the first season either even if it did switch back and forth too much…

Also this is the end of the first DVD… so a “Mid-first season review” would seem to be in order… so far we have not advanced much, in the comics by this point… there was a great deal of development of the characters personalities. Right now everyone is cardboard for the most part, just stereotypical cut-outs of personality types. They could have grown much more in these four episodes in my opinion.

Another thing as one final addition before I end, I’ve heard talk of Merle coming back, and though I am impressed by his survival instinct… I think it would be pretty downright outlandish if he does. It could be fun, it could be awesome, however… it could also be completely stupid. Michael Rooker is an awesome actor, an Merle is one of those people you hate but you cannot help but admire his abilities… but it still would be ridiculous… Anyway… Until the next episode…

 

{Outro}

Watch your back, do not trust anyone, always keep your weapon loaded, do not get bit, and remember Horror NEVER Dies…

Find more Episodes of Hell is Full: Horror Never Dies at HellisFull.net

 

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